My Darling, Sakura
by SilverHarpoon
Summary: She says that effort, Is the siamese twin of success. So when everyone else looks like a wrong answer, She'll settle for being my best guess. - Shane Koyczan 'My Darling Sara' Poem fic with Sakura and Kakashi, modern AU M for implied adult themes
1. My name is Sakura

**HEY THERE! This is a little fan fiction that I wrote because I'm in a rut and have writer's block on my other account.**

**For those of you reading this, know that it is a poem fic. I wrote each 'chapter' based on a line from a Shane Koyczan poem. (By the way i recommend looking him up, he's awesome) These chapters are al short, but I hope you keep reading none the less.**

**Also, this is a modern AU, just so you know, even though it has little precedence.**

* * *

**_I let a stranger pour me one more._**

**_She says 'my name is Sara'_**

**_Doesn't take much more than that to start a relationship._**

**_My darling, Sara._**

**_-_****Shane Koyczan '****_My Darling Sara_****'**

* * *

There was a new girl at the bar today. She looked like a college girl, maybe a near graduate. Her short hair was bright bubblegum pink, and her eyes were some bright color, maybe blue or green - I hadn't gotten a good enough look yet. I was a bit preoccupied with the bottom of my glass. I watched the last drops of the amber liquid settle in a small pool in the bottom. If I was honest, I was surprised to see a young girl as the new barkeep. Situated near the grungiest part of the city, this place wasn't the classiest in the world. Which was why I liked it. No one cared about the scruffy guy at the end of the bar, when everyone else in the joint was just as scruffy. But everyone paid attention to the bright shiny pink fluff that was handing out the drinks.

"Another?"

I looked up to find her smiling softly at me, her tiny hand wrapped around the neck of the scotch bottle. Her eyes were green, like raw uncut emeralds. Silently, I pushed the glass away from me, in her direction.

"You know," she said, getting new ice from what was probably a bucket under the bar. "Usually when a person stares at the bottom of a scotch glass like you've been doing all night, it's because they're looking for something."

She slid the refreshed glass across the polished wood on a napkin, towards me. "What, are you some kind of expert on old drunks or something?"

She chuckled before picking up a rag and wiping down part of the bar where someone had spilled what smelled like vodka. "Or something. But you're no drunk, that much I can tell. And you're not that old either, maybe nine or ten years older than me."

I rolled my eyes at her, and nursed my drink. "Whatever." I muttered to the glass.

"You know, bartenders are practically therapists. With all the things people talk about after they've had a few. Honestly, in the last year of working, I've probably talked three men off a ledge, and saved four marriages." she mused.

"What's your point?" I asked, rattling the ice around the glass.

"My point is that if you need someone to talk to, there's a doctor, patient confidentiality."

"Kiba was never this chatty, why're you?" I asked, wishing that the young man was here instead. He never asked me a damn thing, and at least he and I were friends... Sort of.

The girl shrugged. "Not sure. I'm probably just being nosey." She paused, looking at me for a second before extending her hand. "I'm Sakura."

Giving in, I shook her dainty hand, surprised by how firm her handshake was.

"Kakashi."


	2. The Obvious

**_There's something beautiful about stating the obvious._**

**_All of us do it, _**

**_In those moments where we can't believe it,_**

**_We have to say it._**

**_It's like pinching yourself to make sure you're awake._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'More Often Than Sometimes'_**

* * *

I sighed as I leaned forward on the counter, there was hardly anyone in the bar this afternoon, and my biology homework was spread out in front of me. I only ever looked up when someone asked me for something, usually another drink.

In my defense, it wasn't my shift. Kiba had asked me to cover for him, since he had a date with some girl he met a few nights ago. He had actually asked me if I'd swap shifts with him so that he could more actively date this girl. I think her name was Ino or something.

It didn't really matter to me. My classes still allowed for it. My friend Hinata thought it was funny that I was a med student who had a job as a bartender. Of course our friend Asami made the comment that it was in the interest of business: help destroy their livers so that they'd pay us to help patch them back up. I didn't really think it was all that funny.

And besides, I was going to school to become a spinal surgeon. Its not as if it would create business for _me_. On top of that, it was a disrespectful way to think about patients. We were supposed to help people, not look at them like commission.

I looked up again when the bell above the door rang.

It was Kakashi.

The guy had been in here every other night for the past three weeks. The pair of us had struck up an unlikely, simplistic friendship. I didn't know if I was happy to have the company, or sad that he didn't seem to have anywhere better to be. But then that was the way most bar-bound cops I'd known were.

He hadn't actually told me he was a cop, and he was always in plain cloths. But after bar tending for four years, I'd learned how to pick them out. I wasn't entirely sure how the intuitive sense worked though. I think it had a lot to do with the way they spoke to people.

"Hey Kakashi." I said, already pouring his usual scotch on the rocks.

He grunted a hello, and sat down heavily.

"Long day?" I asked, placing the drink on a napkin in front of him.

He grunted again, and I shrugged. I had an essay that needed writing, and the silver-haired man was clearly not in a talkative mood. Sighing, I sat down at my homework again. It was several more minutes before I got up again to refill another man's glass, and I returned to find Kakashi had moved over to where my homework was sitting. He was looking at the textbook curiously.

"Can I help you?" I chuckled.

He looked up at me with his tired grey eyes. "No, I was just curious."

I shrugged and went back to my essay. Several moments later, Kakashi sat his glass down. "You're a college student."

I looked up, smiling oddly at him. "I am."

He shook his head, his silver hair swaying slightly. "I just don't understand why you're not bartending at a more... Youthful place."

I shrugged. "Kiba's a friend. And I don't really fit in with most people my age anyway."

"Why not?" Kakashi pressed.

I smiled again. "My mom always said I had an old soul, and I was born a generation late."

"She sounds like an odd woman."

I chuckled. "Look who's talking."

Several more minutes went by in silence, in which I finished my essay, and packed up my materials into the backpack I had hidden behind the counter.

"Doesn't your boyfriend worry about you working in this part of town?"

I looked at him in surprise. "I don't have one."

He raised his eyebrows skeptically, and I looked down as I grabbed the washrag off the mini fridge's handle, running it under some warm water before wringing it out and wiping down the counter. "It really shouldn't be surprising. Like I said. Old soul. I don't get along with many people my age. Besides, it's not as if I'm very pretty anyway."

"Yes you are." Kakashi said quietly.

I chuckled. "I didn't say it because I was fishing for compliments, Kakashi."

"I know that. But you're still wrong. You're a very pretty young woman Sakura." he said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I smiled gratefully at him.


	3. Kakashi's best guess

**_She says that effort,_**

**_Is the siamese twin of success._**

**_So when everyone else looks like a wrong answer,_**

**_She'll settle for being my best guess._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'My Darling Sara'_**

* * *

Three months after the beginning of my strange friendship with Sakura, and I realized that had grown far more than fond of her.

As I had told her several weeks ago, she was very pretty, and I enjoyed her company. She was inquisitive without being invasive. She was extremely intelligent without being arrogant. She was kind. She was intuitive.

The first time she had asked me about my job at the station, I'd been shocked. I didn't remember telling her that I worked in the police department. When I'd told her as much, she'd just smiled and said that it was a guess.

I'd been surprised, and yet another facet of her personality had been revealed. She'd told me that if I didn't want to talk about work, then it was fine, but if ever I needed to talk about it, then I was free to without fear of judgement.

She'd changed shifts with Kiba, it seemed, and after it'd happened, I'd realized that I'd changed my usual pattern to coincide with the change in hers. I was at first surprised, and a bit bothered by this, but after a day or two I realized that I didn't mind. I liked being around the pink haired girl. And I was glad that she didn't seem to mind the grizzled grumpy cop that I was.

Apart from our brief discussion about how she didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't think we'd at all discussed relationships, so when I mentioned, on one Friday night, about how my co-worker Asuma was getting married to his long-time girlfriend Kurenai, who was from a different department, Sakura's surprised expression was very amusing.

"You don't sound very excited about it." she said, wiping down some older shot glasses that had become coated by dust.

I shrugged. "I'm not a very excitable person. Don't get me wrong though, I am happy for them. They deserve to be happy."

She set down the shot glass in her hand and turned to rinse off the rag she held. "You sound almost wistful, Kakashi."

I chuckled as I sloshed around the whiskey in my glass. "I guess I am."

There was a silence in which she topped off my drink. After a few more moments, she finally huffed. "Well? You gonna tell me why?"

I smiled lightly behind my glass as I took a drink from it. "Why should I? Nosey."

At the teasing remark, she lifted her eyebrows, then shrugged. She was about to say something else when a man further down the bar called to get her attention, and she left. I watched as she mixed a vodka tonic, wondering again why she worked in a place like this. I saw the man she was helping staring at her ass, and I couldn't help but feel resentful. I liked the girl, and even I still had the respect not to ogle her.

By the time she came back a few minutes later, I was again pondering what she'd said. "I suppose it's because I'm a bit jealous." I told her.

She frowned, taking a moment to figure out what I was talking about. I could tell when she remembered the previous conversation as her emerald eyes flashed with surprise. "What, do you like this Kurenai woman?"

I crinkled my nose. "No, not at all. But I...envy their happiness."

Sakura snorted. "Don't tell me you're turning into a hopeless romantic on me now, Kakashi."

I shook my head. "Don't be silly. I only meant that I've never found that kind of happiness with another person."

She looked at me with an unreadable expression for several minutes before she sighed and spoke softly. "Maybe you've had more to drink than I thought. You're more melancholy than usual."

I shook my head. "I'm not that drunk Sakura."

She frowned. "Well, do you mind my asking why you think you haven't found the right person?"

"That's just it." I sighed. "I don't think there is a 'right person' for me, or at least it seems that way."

Sakura gave me another unreadable look before responding. "You never know, Kakashi. And look at it this way, if everyone looks like the 'wrong' person, then go for your best guess."

That night, when I finally went home, and Sakura slid me my bill for the night, I noted with some confusion that a napkin was folded over it. I looked up at Sakura to ask what it was about, but she had already walked off to help a different customer.

I always paid my tab at the end of the month, but Sakura, or whatever other bartender was serving me had to ring up a bill anyway for the sake of records. But that still didn't explain the napkin.

Almost cautiously, I picked it up, and unfolded it. On it in simple black ink were three numbers in parentheses, followed by three more numbers, a dash, and then four more numbers. Sakura's name was also written on the napkin, next to it was a simple drawing of a cherry blossom.


	4. Naked

**_Don't ask a guy what to wear._**

**_It's not that we don't care -_**

******_It's just that in most cases,_**

**_You could hold up a dress and a sweater,_**

**_And ask us which one is better,_**

**_We will always say, 'naked'_**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'Weather Reports'_**

* * *

It had been four months since I'd slipped Kakashi my number. It had been three months since he'd first stayed over at my apartment.

I groaned in frustration. I needed to get ready for school, but all my usual cloths were dirty, since I hadn't gotten around to doing laundry. My choices were limited, and I couldn't decide between my college sweatshirt or a simple black t-shirt that I had in the back of my closet. So I would either over heat today, or freeze to death on the way to my class. I hated this part of the fall.

"Kakashi!" I groaned, emerging from my closet in just my yoga pants and my bra, holding the two articles of clothing. "Help."

"Mmm?" the silver haired man rolled over on my bed to look at me. His eyes were sleepy, and his hair was a mess. The sheet he'd draped over himself was low enough that it was barely covering his manhood, and I couldn't help but glance at it.

I held the two up. "What do you think? Drown in sweat today, or get frostbite on the way to class?"

He smiled languidly. "What about just staying home today? Naked, in bed, with me. We could watch a movie."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You're an idiot. I've got a test today remember?"

He just smiled at me.

"And _you_ have work in a half hour." I added.

His smiled disappeared and he reluctantly extracted himself from my bed. "I hate it when you're right."

"No you don't." I said, walking over and kissing him on the cheek.

His eyes were gentle as his smile again tugged at his lips. He kissed my forehead and sighed. "Fine, I don't."

He looked at he articles of clothing in my hand and rolled his eyes. "Wear the t-shirt. I'll drive you to class before I head to the station."

I frowned. "Kakashi you don't have to do that."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "I don't like you walking to class anyway. Not with where you live."

This was something he'd told me several times. My apartment was about two miles away from my college campus, but that put me in a rather questionable part of town. Initially I'd rationalized it with the fact that the bad neighborhood was the reason my rent was so low. But I didn't have a car. And Kakashi Hatake was a cop.

Needless to say, he didn't like me living here.

He yawned and stretched. "Let me take a shower and get dressed, then I'll take you in the squad car before I head off to work. Okay?"


	5. Stolen shirts

**_I love that on most days you look like a patchwork quilt,_**

**_Guilt free and warm._**

**_You look like an authority on all things lovely,_**

**_And I've always had a thing for a girl in uniform._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'Weather Reports'_**

* * *

I turned the page in my book as I listened to the sounds of Sakura putzing around in my kitchen. We'd had plans to go see a movie tonight, but the severe unexpected freezing rain had put a damper on those plans, no pun intended.

I felt bad because it had effected her work schedule, since she'd asked Kiba to cover for her tonight. I'd picked her up from the bar, and we'd intended to drive by her apartment to allow her to change her cloths, but the people of the world had proved that they really just couldn't drive in the rain. It had been less of a hassle to drive back to my own apartment, which was closer to the bar than hers was.

As a result, she was stuck in her 'uniform', and we weren't going to the movie.

It's not really a uniform, so I didn't understand why Kiba felt the need to call it that. It was a black shirt with the name of the bar on it.

"Kakashi?"

I looked up to see her standing at the entrance to the kitchen. "What is it?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Is it okay if I steal one of your shirts?"

I rolled my eyes. "Even if I said no, you'd still do it."

Her smile morphed into a guiltless grin as she darted down the hall. I shook my head as I thought of the number of shirts that she'd 'stolen' from me. She always gave them back at least a week later, pressed and smelling like her lavender scented laundry detergent.

No less than three minutes later, the pink haired woman emerged from my bedroom wearing a warm brown cable-knit sweater of mine, who's sleeves were a bit long on even me, so she'd bunched them up, creating a very childishly endearing effect.

She smiled at me. "Do you want some hot chocolate?"

I gave her a small smile as I returned to my book. "Sure, that sounds nice."

After she disappeared back into the kitchen, I found that I wasn't really paying much attention to the book in my hands. My mind kept wandering off towards the woman in my kitchen.

She was beautiful. She was funny. She was the best guess I could have ever made.


	6. Put the world on pause

**_When I was a kid,_**

**_I learned that time slows near a black hole._**

**_Inside a black hole, Time stops altogether._**

**_Wether or not this theory will ever be proved,_**

**_I am moved to believe,_**

**_This would be the perfect place to love someone._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'Tomatoes'_**

* * *

It sounded perverse, but I think my favorite thing to do with Kakashi was to bask in the afterglow of sex. Once again, it sounded perverse, but as tired as I was, and even though he usually nodded off, it was my favorite time.

One of his arms was draped around my waist, and the other was pillowed beneath me head. We were curled around each other, and it seemed as if the moments passing were slower. It seemed like the time between now, and when we would have to get back to our lives was longer than it would be otherwise.

I often wished that I could stop time, so that these moments so that they could last forever. So that I could lay here and feel as loved as I did now.

Neither of us had said 'I love you' since we'd been together. I knew I loved him. But I had no idea if he loved me.

Maybe he just thought of this as a fling. But even if that turned out to be the case, I knew that I would be able to be mature and accepting about it, even if it broke me to do it.

But then, maybe one day I'd tell him.

_Not tonight though_, I thought. I didn't want to ruin the moment. I wanted to remain like this for as long as I could.

As he slept, my eyes traced the contours of his face. The bridge of his nose, the thin line of the scar on his cheek, the way his cheek was squashed adorably against the pillow. His eyelids fluttered lightly as he dreamed. His silver colored hair shifted slightly every now and again thanks to the fan in my room.

Kakashi couldn't seem to sleep without a fan on. And whenever I would complain, he would simply pull me close to him so that his body kept me warm despite the slight chill in the air.

I watched as his hair shifted again, it fell in his face, and almost automatically my hand reached up to brush it away.

Kakashi was a light sleeper, so it shouldn't have surprised me when his eyelids squinted together before slowly drifting open. His sleep filled grey eyes stared at me.

I smiled, murmuring the first thing that came to mind. "Hey."

He smiled back, and replied. "Hey."

Taking a deep breath, his arms constricted and he pulled me close, burying his face in my hair as I tucked my head under his chin.

I wished these moments could last forever.


	7. Soft

**_Something as simple as touching someone,_**

**_And so often say 'You're so soft...'_**

**_And the person who touched them last may have said it for the twenty-eighth time,_**

**_But today, I'm number twenty-nine._**

**_And I'm not saying it for her benefit, _**

**_I'm saying it for mine._**

**_Because there's almost seven billion people in the world,_**

**_Half of which are men,_**

**_And when the number of them is three-point-five billion,_**

**_Pretty-fucking-cool that I was number twenty nine._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'More Often Than Sometimes'_**

* * *

Sakura's skin felt like silk stretched over stone. It was satin, and her muscles were firm. She went to the gym every Saturday, so it made sense that she was this way. But she was still supple and soft.

She was so soft.

In both body and soul. She was a gentle person. And I loved her for it.

Running my hand down her spine, I caused her to shiver, and she lifted her head up on her hand to look at me through half-lidded emerald eyes.

"What is it?" she asked.

Her voice hummed though the air with the sleepy way she spoke. When she was tired, her words never slurred in the way that you would expect. Her voice would simply dip into a murmured humming sound. I doubt she meant it to be, but it was one of the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard in my life.

I smiled at her as I continued to run my fingers across her skin.

"You're so soft." I murmured.

She gave me a strange smile, as though she didn't understand the importance of this. It didn't matter if she did though. I didn't say it for her to hear. I said it for me to express.

I both loved and couldn't believe that this amazing woman was my own.

And I found it absurd that I was the first one to discover that she was this soft. This lovely. This beautiful.

I found that I was saying it again. "You're so soft."

She chuckled. "Duh."


	8. Take a coat

**_That morning, I slid out from behind the joke._**

**_'_****_Take a coat' I said_**

**_It was freezing that morning,_**

**_And the ice storm warning gave me cause to be concerned about your safety._**

**_I still find it funny how an 'I love you' can be reduced to a weather report._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'Weather Reports'_**

* * *

The sound of a cell phone was what woke me. Lifting my head to glare at the bedside table that I always claimed when I was over at Kakashi's. Seeing that my phone was laying quietly on the table, I groaned before letting my head fall back onto the pillow.

"It's yours." I said irritably.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he sat up and turned to grab the offending object. Glancing at the screen, he sighed. "It's Iruka."

I huffed. That usually meant it was work. Iruka, while not Kakashi's superior, was usually given the job of telling him to get his ass down to the station for one reason or another.

I got up to use the bathroom while he talked over the phone. I shivered when my bare feet touched the bathroom floor tile. It was freezing. The toilet was just as cold.

I both loved and hated Winter. I loved it for the snow and the christmas break that I got. But I hated it because of the fact that I had practically zero tolerance for the cold.

I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror as I washed my hands, and groaned. How my hair always managed to turn into a rat's nest overnight was beyond me. Grabbing the brush from the side of the sink, I did my best to tame the snarls.

I heard a chuckle from the doorway, and turned to find Kakashi leaning against the doorframe wearing his favorite set of sweat pants, slung low on his hips. He smiled at my attempts to fix my hair.

"I still don't understand why you get so worked up over your hair." he said.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "I don't get worked up, I get annoyed. Just _once_ I'd like to wake up and not have my hair imitating yours."

He shook his head. "Well, that _one_ way of putting it."

I set the hairbrush down. "So what did Iruka want?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "You've probably already guessed. I've got to go into work. A bunch of the traffic lights are out downtown owing to some fallen power lines. I've got to help supplement that until they can get them fixed."

I scrunched up my nose. "What the hell? You're not a traffic cop. Hell you're not even a beat cop. What's up with them delegating that to you?"

The silver haired man shrugged. "Don't know. But it's orders from the captain, so I'm not about to argue. Do you need me to drive you anywhere this morning, before I head out?"

I shook my head. "I figured I'd spend the day here, I could have a hot meal waiting for you when you get back, if you want."

He crossed the short distance and hugged me, kissing my forehead. "I really don't know what I did to deserve you, blossom. And yeah, I'd like that." he murmured, kissing my forehead.

I giggled. "Just take your shower, dummy."

He let me go, and I heard him starting up the shower as I left the bathroom. Yawning, I grabbed a shirt of his off the floor to wear so that I wasn't walking around stark naked.

I then walked out to the kitchen, craving the sweet caffein delivered by the coffee pot. As I passed it, I grabbed the remote for the kitchen's small tv off the counter before opening the cabinet to grab the coffee grounds. Kakashi seemed partial to this african blend that was really rich, and I was grateful because it meant that even if we ran out of creamer, it didn't taste like tar.

As I filled the glass pot with water, I clicked the tv on. The only station Kakashi ever used on this tv was the news station, so I wasn't at all surprised when the local weather report popped up.

I half listened as I waited for the coffee to be ready. By the time I was filling up a thermos for Kakashi when I was shocked into paying more attention.

The man on the screen was talking about a winter storm warning the station had received. Snow, freezing rain, maybe even hail would be falling from the sky. Along the bottom of the screen was a banner that showed the counties that were under warning. Anxiously, I watched, hoping that we weren't on the list.

My anxiety reached it's peak when I saw that we were.

"Figures the day I have to direct traffic is the day that this crap happens."

I jumped, and turned to find Kakashi standing in the doorway in his uniform. His expression was annoyed.

I hated his uniform almost as much as I hated his detective's badge. Sure, the handcuffs were nice every now and again for some bedroom spice, but whenever I saw the whole ensemble together, I just felt worried. I hated having to wonder if this was the day he wouldn't come home. And now there was this storm.

Silently, I handed him the thermos I'd filled for him.

"Thanks, blossom." he said, kissing my forehead again. "I'll be back tonight."

"Okay." I said quietly, following him out of the kitchen to watch as he grabbed the keys to his squad car. As he reached for the door, I felt three little words bubbling up my throat.

I wanted so much to tell him I loved him, but my cowardice won out as I changed my words at the last minute.

"Take a coat." I said


	9. Home

**_And at long last I know I no longer have to roam,_**

**_And I finally understand those sailors who plant their lips to the ground,_**

**_As I do the same to your body._**

**_It's because you taste like home._**

**_- Shane Koyczan 'Pulse'_**

* * *

"Sakura?"

She looked up at me from the book she was reading.

We were laying in her bed, and I had been showering her shoulders with kisses as we both sat contentedly.

"Yeah?" she asked, her voice as sweet as it ever was.

"I love you." I told her simply.

She blushed a pretty rose color, her beautiful smile splitting her face.

"I love you too, Kakashi."

Her book was thrown aside, and I kissed her sweetly, my heart feeling like it would beat out of my chest from hearing her say it.

Knowing that someone loved you and hearing them admit it, were two different worlds.

Finally, for the first time in years, I felt completely at home.


End file.
